Tucking Tickets

January 9, 2011

Bitten’s a bit under the weather thanks to all the sick people who were on my flights, so I’ll keep this short.

Over the last few days, I noticed two different people and how they store their tickets differently than me. Most recently, I was at a Motorsports event and the gentleman sitting next to me was dressed in olive green sweats, brown socks and white tennies. What really tied together his outfit was the fact he accessorized his shoe with his event ticket. How I do not envy the ticket checker people! EWW!

Then, on my flight to Arizona, I noticed another unique ticket holding tactic. We hit the tarmac and began our hour-long taxi to the gate (anyone that’s been to PHX knows what I’m talking about). I began looking around out of sheer boredom (no electronic devices allowed yet) and saw an older man seated several rows ahead of me. He was looking to his right and I noticed his ball cap appeared to still have the tag on it (ala Minnie Pearl). However, when he looked to his left, I realized that it wasn’t a tag, but something much larger. Upon more intense inspection, I realize it’s his boarding pass clipped to his cap with… a BINDER CLIP!!! Wow. Maybe this is the adult version of traveling with your name and instructions pinned to your shirt?

Do any of you employ these ticket holding tactics? Or do you act like the rest of the world and stick your ticket in your wallet or pocket?


10 Pounds of Sh!t…

January 5, 2011

It's a puzzle to make it all fit - that's for sure!

I like puzzles. I like to be prepared. I like to have choices. Que the heaviest suitcase you’ve ever seen for its’ size. I’m only going to be gone 3 days, but one day requires a suit – YUCK – one day requires business casual (travel day – YUCK) and the other is totally casual. Plus, I’m staying at my boss’ place, so “normal” pj’s are required. And, I have no clue what we’re doing for dinners – if we’re going out and if it’s casual. And toiletries. I swear this is where the weight comes in. Shampoo, conditioner, hair tamer, shaving cream, razor, face wash (3 bottles), body wash (just one bottle), toothpaste, electric toothbrush, and so on. My toiletry bag takes up half the suitcase. My boots take up 1/3 of the remaining space. After my suit, that doesn’t leave me much in the way of space. I wish I had a suitcase that was just a bit bigger. But something tells me I would end up with the same problem.

If you haven’t already guessed, I buy many things in bulk. If I find a product I like, such as shampoo, I buy the biggest bottle I can find. My favorite products have a way of being discontinued right after I discover them. Don’t laugh (okay, maybe do laugh) I couldn’t find a bottle to put my hair tamer in. (The 10 gallon jug just isn’t going to fit.) I ended up using a small Rubbermaid container, placed nicely inside a ziplock baggie – just in case.

If you travel with me, you’ll also see the biggest purse ever. In my purse alone, I have my make-up, me technological accessories (laptop cord, phone charger, iPod charger, phone and iPod – unfortunately the laptop won’t fit), carry on liquids (hand sanitizer – and do they count lip gloss as liquid?), other girlie stuff, my wallet, an envirosac and a pair of shoes. Not just any pair, but my favorite (for work). Don’t ask my why I’m bringing them – I guess because they can be casual or dressy depending on the outfit. Plus I just can’t leave them behind. I wear them at least twice a week.

But wait, there’s more! (I just LOVE saying that!) I have my laptop bag. That’s got my 8 1/2 x 11 planner, laptop and work I have to bring with me. That puppy is packed full too! I can barely get it all zipped. But it’s going on the plane with me, and the laptop comes out as soon as possible (thank you Wi-fi in the sky!) so it won’t be stretched to the max for long.

So it’s off to Arizona I go… just for a couple of days. I’m sure there will be stories aplenty after this trip. Afterall, airports are seriously good fodder for blogging.


California Dreamin’

January 4, 2011

My dreams are NOT recharging me!

The new year has brought totally bizarre dreams to my life. Normally, I’m not one to remember my dreams. But in the last few days, I can recall three dreams from three different nights. The first dream, I was kidnapped by Mexican gang-bangers. I was transported to a secret location with an uncomfortable seat in the trunk of a car. Once at the secret location, I was shackled, and watched by a one-armed gang member. When he left the room, I found a way to make a phone call, but he returned before I connected with anyone. He then proceeded to stab me in the top of the head with a knife. Strangely, it didn’t hurt or bleed.

Then, the next night, I dreamt I was kidnapped, but by my ex-boyfriend. I haven’t talked to him since before I moved to SoCal in ’97. Anyway, he somehow kidnapped me, tied me to a chair on a boat, and threatened to knock me out with a fire extinguisher (the big kind you see mounted on semi trucks) if I didn’t play nice. My alarm sounded before I could determine what that scumbag wanted. (This guy was a real gem, but the topper was when I told him I was done, he tried to throw me down a flight of stairs. He gave up when he realized he was going with me if it was happening at all. A-hole.)

And the dream from the night before last was strange as well, but no kidnapping thank God! I dreamt I was driving through a beach town (local spot, I used to live there) and saw a coworker (that lives in Utah) standing in front of a restaurant. Then, beaches came into view. I quickly realize that what I see at the shore are not rocks, but GIANT beached whales! I mean tons of them. They were all still alive, but almost all of them were just about completely beached. There were people all over trying to push these beasts back in the water to save them. I wanted to help, but couldn’t find anywhere I could stop.

Whatever all this means, you now have a glimpse into the inner workings of my noggin’.


Rain Delay

January 3, 2011

rain, rain, go away!

I’m here, with all of my extremities intact. We can blame (thank?) the weather.

My first priority yesterday was to remove all evidence of Christmas. Strange how it takes hours (even days) to put everything up, but when it comes time to pack up, just two hours will do it! While I tackled the inside of the house, Hubby mowed the lawns (front and half of the back – more on that another time) and then pulled down our lights.

By the time he needed me to hold the ladder so he could climb on the roof, it was already starting to rain.

Phew – off the hook. But I’m so sick of the rain! Instead of trying to kill me by way of roller blades, we took our lives into our own hands and went to Best Buy to exchange a game and to the grocery store. We did make it back, thank God!


Dumb Sh!t People Say (and do)

January 2, 2011

This is bound to be the first of many posts of this nature…

After 6 days of straight rain, we had super cold weather (for here) once it stopped raining. Of course, we had a hockey game, and coming into the parking lot, the nice girl bodes us a warning: “Be careful out here, it’s cold.” Ummm – okay… I’m dressed for a hockey game, so it’s cool I tell her. She looks at me quizzically and asks, “Is it cold in there?” How do I answer this? Um – yeah, honey, they play on ICE!!! Wow. That one blew me away.

How about that group of people that walking down a crowded street or sidewalk and insists on walking SIDE BY SIDE BY SIDE BY SIDE!!! Are they intentionally blocking the way? Or are they just oblivious? (And I worry about being rude by pushing through them.)

They must be the same people that get on the freeway at 35 mph, and stop at green right turn arrows. I know a lady and her mantra is “Common Sense Is Unattractive” – how true that is!


As Seen on TV

January 1, 2011

Easy Feet.

Wow – what will they think of next? I mean really? I happened to catch the commercial for these yesterday and could not believe my eyes. Actually, it’s not even the product that made me so incredulous. It was the commercial.

As someone with a bit (not much) of marketing/advertising experience, I can say with full authority, this commercial was like watching a train wreck. It was so bad – but you just can’t tear yourself away. At no time, however, did it occur to me that this might be a product I can’t live without.

So the idea is that you pour liquid soap over the straps that cross the tops of your feet. Then, it trickles down and as you kick your legs, the soap suds’ up and cleans your feet. There’s a pumice stone on each heel of the shoe. (How in the hell are you supposed to use that on any other part of your foot if you can’t reach your feet?) Okay, so this is a typical “as seen on TV” type product – right up there with Ginsu knives… so get ready for it… yes, they said it! “But wait – there’s more!” (Actually, that’s one of my favorite lines when uttered with the appropriate inflection of sarcasm.) You can get TWO pairs of shoes!

I was so annoyed by this commercial that I had to check out the website.

Copied from their website:

OFFER DETAILS:
Each Buy One, Get One FREE set includes two Easy Feet shoes for only $14.99 plus $7.99 for each shoe. This offer is covered by a 30 day money back guarantee less S&H.

And then: “Just pay separate  $7.99 S&H for each easy feet shoe.”

Ummmm… So, you get 2 pair for $14.99 but you have to pay in excess of $32 for S&H? Wow – not reading the fine print will really screw you on this one!

I’m not entirely sure why this ad really stuck in my craw, but it’s been bugging me for a fill 24 hours. So now it can bug you too! It’s the season of sharing, right?


Peeve Purge

December 31, 2010

My comment about negative posts and rants has really stuck with me. So I thought, in honor of the impending shiny new year, why not publicly purge my peeves? (That sounds like something that should be done in private, doesn’t it?) So here it goes in no particular order:

  • When people speak over me when I’m speaking (especially when they have just asked for an answer or my opinion)
  • People who bathe in fragrance knowing they will be in close quarters – such as seated close together at a hockey game. No, no matter HOW expensive the “fragrance” it does NOT mean a) it smells good nor b) it will cover up your funk
  • People who have that gnarly B.O. that we call funk – YUCK
  • Bad breath and mouth breathers – especially in confined places. If you drink a lot of coffee or have a cold, chew gum or keep your mouth shut when you’re in close proximity to others.
  • Drivers that jump in front of you to slam on the brakes – especially when there’s no one behind you
  • What my friend refers to as “smacking” when eating – you know, the people who swish liquid like mouthwash and chew with their mouths open
  • When people let doors slam shut on you when it’s obvious you have your hands full
  • Drivers that don’t let pedestrians have their (rightful) right of way in the pouring rain
  • Pedestrians that cross against the signal in front of cars
  • People in the locker room at the gym that run around with nothing (and I mean literally NOTHING) on – and then feel it necessary to inspect their toes – without taking a seat. GAH I do not need to see your business!
  • Know it-all’s – particularly when they know NOTHING about the topic
  • Intolerance. Granted, I don’t agree with many things people do, but I don’t shove my beliefs and opinions down their throats. (Remember, you’re reading this of your own free will – I’m not forcing you! LOL)
  • Taggers. Especially when it’s on private property. The homeowner is fined if THEY don’t take care of cleaning it up, yet the cities let it stay for weeks, if not months.
  • Political ad campaigns.
  • Drug advertisements. If the drug companies weren’t allowed to advertise (think of the restrictions on tobacco & alcohol) and they took even a small portion of that budget and put it towards research for things like cancer and Alzheimer’s, just think what kind of progress could be made.
  • Socks that end up around your toes in boots.
  • Boots that don’t stay up.
  • People that fart in public. Is it really necessary to inflict that kind of nasal pain on unsuspecting passers-by?
  • Dog owners that do not clean up their dog’s shit on my lawn.
  • Adult acne. Isn’t it enough we had to deal with that shit as awkward teenagers?
  • Store workers that ignore you. I was shopping for roller blades today (more on this later) and in two different stores, I was completely ignored! Just because I’m an over-weight chick doesn’t mean I can’t learn to Rollerblade. And when I do finally get some help, don’t “ma’am” me.

By all means, this list is not conclusive.

What are your peeves?