Dumb Sh!t People Say (and do)

January 2, 2011

This is bound to be the first of many posts of this nature…

After 6 days of straight rain, we had super cold weather (for here) once it stopped raining. Of course, we had a hockey game, and coming into the parking lot, the nice girl bodes us a warning: “Be careful out here, it’s cold.” Ummm – okay… I’m dressed for a hockey game, so it’s cool I tell her. She looks at me quizzically and asks, “Is it cold in there?” How do I answer this? Um – yeah, honey, they play on ICE!!! Wow. That one blew me away.

How about that group of people that walking down a crowded street or sidewalk and insists on walking SIDE BY SIDE BY SIDE BY SIDE!!! Are they intentionally blocking the way? Or are they just oblivious? (And I worry about being rude by pushing through them.)

They must be the same people that get on the freeway at 35 mph, and stop at green right turn arrows. I know a lady and her mantra is “Common Sense Is Unattractive” – how true that is!


As Seen on TV

January 1, 2011

Easy Feet.

Wow – what will they think of next? I mean really? I happened to catch the commercial for these yesterday and could not believe my eyes. Actually, it’s not even the product that made me so incredulous. It was the commercial.

As someone with a bit (not much) of marketing/advertising experience, I can say with full authority, this commercial was like watching a train wreck. It was so bad – but you just can’t tear yourself away. At no time, however, did it occur to me that this might be a product I can’t live without.

So the idea is that you pour liquid soap over the straps that cross the tops of your feet. Then, it trickles down and as you kick your legs, the soap suds’ up and cleans your feet. There’s a pumice stone on each heel of the shoe. (How in the hell are you supposed to use that on any other part of your foot if you can’t reach your feet?) Okay, so this is a typical “as seen on TV” type product – right up there with Ginsu knives… so get ready for it… yes, they said it! “But wait – there’s more!” (Actually, that’s one of my favorite lines when uttered with the appropriate inflection of sarcasm.) You can get TWO pairs of shoes!

I was so annoyed by this commercial that I had to check out the website.

Copied from their website:

OFFER DETAILS:
Each Buy One, Get One FREE set includes two Easy Feet shoes for only $14.99 plus $7.99 for each shoe. This offer is covered by a 30 day money back guarantee less S&H.

And then: “Just pay separate  $7.99 S&H for each easy feet shoe.”

Ummmm… So, you get 2 pair for $14.99 but you have to pay in excess of $32 for S&H? Wow – not reading the fine print will really screw you on this one!

I’m not entirely sure why this ad really stuck in my craw, but it’s been bugging me for a fill 24 hours. So now it can bug you too! It’s the season of sharing, right?


Peeve Purge

December 31, 2010

My comment about negative posts and rants has really stuck with me. So I thought, in honor of the impending shiny new year, why not publicly purge my peeves? (That sounds like something that should be done in private, doesn’t it?) So here it goes in no particular order:

  • When people speak over me when I’m speaking (especially when they have just asked for an answer or my opinion)
  • People who bathe in fragrance knowing they will be in close quarters – such as seated close together at a hockey game. No, no matter HOW expensive the “fragrance” it does NOT mean a) it smells good nor b) it will cover up your funk
  • People who have that gnarly B.O. that we call funk – YUCK
  • Bad breath and mouth breathers – especially in confined places. If you drink a lot of coffee or have a cold, chew gum or keep your mouth shut when you’re in close proximity to others.
  • Drivers that jump in front of you to slam on the brakes – especially when there’s no one behind you
  • What my friend refers to as “smacking” when eating – you know, the people who swish liquid like mouthwash and chew with their mouths open
  • When people let doors slam shut on you when it’s obvious you have your hands full
  • Drivers that don’t let pedestrians have their (rightful) right of way in the pouring rain
  • Pedestrians that cross against the signal in front of cars
  • People in the locker room at the gym that run around with nothing (and I mean literally NOTHING) on – and then feel it necessary to inspect their toes – without taking a seat. GAH I do not need to see your business!
  • Know it-all’s – particularly when they know NOTHING about the topic
  • Intolerance. Granted, I don’t agree with many things people do, but I don’t shove my beliefs and opinions down their throats. (Remember, you’re reading this of your own free will – I’m not forcing you! LOL)
  • Taggers. Especially when it’s on private property. The homeowner is fined if THEY don’t take care of cleaning it up, yet the cities let it stay for weeks, if not months.
  • Political ad campaigns.
  • Drug advertisements. If the drug companies weren’t allowed to advertise (think of the restrictions on tobacco & alcohol) and they took even a small portion of that budget and put it towards research for things like cancer and Alzheimer’s, just think what kind of progress could be made.
  • Socks that end up around your toes in boots.
  • Boots that don’t stay up.
  • People that fart in public. Is it really necessary to inflict that kind of nasal pain on unsuspecting passers-by?
  • Dog owners that do not clean up their dog’s shit on my lawn.
  • Adult acne. Isn’t it enough we had to deal with that shit as awkward teenagers?
  • Store workers that ignore you. I was shopping for roller blades today (more on this later) and in two different stores, I was completely ignored! Just because I’m an over-weight chick doesn’t mean I can’t learn to Rollerblade. And when I do finally get some help, don’t “ma’am” me.

By all means, this list is not conclusive.

What are your peeves?


One a day… that’s all they ask

December 30, 2010

I noticed a little headline while I was becoming re-acquainted with my wordpress surroundings. It said something along the lines of “want to write more?” Why yes, I think I do. I often find myself feeling that I don’t have much of interest to write about. More often than not, posts turn into rants, and I don’t want to be negative like that. I think this will be a good way to keep a more positive tone. I AM generally a positive person, after all.

But I digress. The link brought me to a sort of challenge to either write every day, or once a week. I think I will shoot for once a week, because who wants to listen to my babble daily? Not even me! (Or my cat!) And I think my husband would be happy if I never babbled again.

Hey, look! A squirrel! Anyway, I think once a week is more my speed. WordPress is giving us little inspirations, so maybe that will help me feel more… um, relevant maybe? So for those of you that have stumbled your way here (and even those of you I promised to pay to visit) – let me know what you think about any of the stuff I blather on about.

Oh – and who’s with me?

See ya next year!


It’s safe to say

December 30, 2010

that my efforts to simplify my life have been undermined by that pesky job. It’s been since June since I last revisited this topic.

  • Sewing machine is still gathering dust in the back bedroom. I had grand notions (ha, notions, get it?) of making cute gift bags for Christmas presents this year. Let’s just say I’m STILL shopping, so that didn’t happen.
  • I have NOT been cooking much. I do, however, have a shiny new oven. It’s not the pretty blue interiored number I drool over, but it works great. There’s a cafeteria in my building, so I often have a sandwich or tacos for lunch, although I will be making a much greater effort to cut back in coming months. Even if that simply means bringing sandwich stuff to work and doing it there.
  • Less daytime TV – MAJOR SUCCESS! (Thanks to being gainfully employed.)
  • Keeping the house tidy… I’m getting there. My kitchen is normally presentable, the bed is usually made and the living room is much less of a disaster.
  • Remembering my reuseable grocery bags: I’m normally pretty good with this since I usually remember to put them back in my car.
  • Clearing clutter: Doing well, and it seems to be rubbing off on hubby. Maybe Flylady was right?
  • Gardening: It has been raining, no scratch that, POURING more days than it hasn’t lately. This does not bode well for vegetation in my life.
  • Purchasing less: I can honestly say I really evaluate the value of a purchase (unless it’s chocolate or alcohol) before spontaneously tossing it in my cart.
  • Doing stuff that’s FUN: working cuts down on time for this… although Hockey has been my life recently, and I expect it to stay that way until spring. Other than that, I’m throwing sleep in the “fun” column because I just don’t get enough!

In this time of re/evaluation and introspection, what are your goals for the next year? What’s your focus? (Or do you have add like me?) Where have you seen success? What’s been your most important adjustment?


Screw you, Superior Court

December 29, 2010

That’s right, I said what everyone’s thinking. Especially when you pull you mail in and discover a jury summons. For VALENTINE’S DAY. Excellent. I guess it could have been worse and landed on my birthday.

It was just about a year ago that I was summoned for service. I called in the night before and was told to report. Of course, I was unemployed so it wasn’t that big of a deal. But those were the days of attempting to please all the relatives by travelling to them at Christmas so I had plans! After being late (I got lost in the parking structure and couldn’t find the courthouse – only me!) I found myself parked for the day. Nearing the end of the day, I ended up in a courtroom with a bunch of other potentials… they selected the jury two people before I was going to be called.

Now, with my fancy schmancy new job, I actually get paid for jury duty, which pretty much seals my fate. It’s not that I mind doing my civic duty and all that, it’s just that so many cases should never get to this point in the first place. Plus, who is going to do my mountains of work while I’m being a juror? Sigh… SCREW YOU SUPERIOR COURT! (I know… that’s not helping my case, but somehow, I doubt any of the judges are reading…)


Holiday Thoughts

December 27, 2010

This year, my husband and I decided (before my grandfather’s death) that we would not be travelling for the holidays. Every year, in the 13 years we have been together, we have driven all over to please relatives. Sometimes this meant traversing both California and Nevada. Battling holiday traffic and navigating winter weather (okay, I know our weather is nothing compared to other areas of the world) and putting up with family drama is just not the kind of “relaxation” I want to do during my limited time off.

So the foot was put down, and the families dealt with it. And we did everything (mostly nothing) we wanted. We spent time with neighbors and at hockey. (And of course each other.) Just the perfect time off! Because it was just us, the pressure to participate in excess was much lower. I think we’ve started a new tradition.

And for the new year: I’ve already begun to purge! I’ve pulled two trash bags of clothing from my closet to either garage sale or donate. We spent several hours going though paperwork and magazines and tossing away! It feels so good to dump all this stuff. I want to continue working on this at least one day each week. (Not the whole day, just a little bit at the minimum.)

Also for the new year, I want to be healthier. This includes eating at home more and exercising more. It also includes keeping the house tidier and cleaner. Not that we live in a hovel… but we definitely have room to improve. And this will keep us in a better place mentally, plus it will be nice to open our home to friends. I think the focus of simplification remains… We did well with not bringing more clutter into the home in the form of Christmas gifts, so I call that a win!