Perspective

Perspective is such a funny thing! 

Yesterday I had a bit of a difficult day. I wasn’t feeling great and I attempted to grout my new kitchen tiles. My mother-in-law helped me gather up all the supplies at the local hardware store. I have no one to blame but myself – I ended up with the wrong grout color. And of course, I didn’t realize it until AFTER I had mixed it. Oh, and a 25 lb. bag was the smallest unit they had. BAAAA I had also been thinking a lot about “that friend” and all her issues. (No contact for days which is really unusual!) I guess you could say I was having a bit of a pity party. Everyone has those days, right? 

Well, after dinner, hubby & I went for a little cruise in my old Bug that we’ve been working on. We had a loop going where we’d drive by a friend’s house, but he was never home. Until tonight. Now this guy is a walking soap opera. And the perfect one to put anyone’s problems back in proper perspective. His second (?) wife used to be a nice, relatively normal girl. They got pregnant and there were complications. She decided to carry him and he ended up being still-born. I really don’t know the details, but that is a terrible tragedy. She suffered extreme depression (who wouldn’t?) and started taking all sorts of pills (prescribed). They had another baby, and he’s doing great (he’s around seven now). She, however, is a mess. 

NOT the couple in question

 

By mess, I mean she belongs on Maury. Or Jerry. Or Steve Wilcox. Or any of those shows. Maybe even Dr. Phil. She is so messed up on drugs, she doesn’t know which end is up. The parents have alway fought – and I mean knock-down, drag-out fights. The cops know them on a first name basis. Fast-forward: they are divorced, he got screwed in the deal, she’s still messed up on meds, and they have mutual restraining orders. (She’s a trust fund baby, and he’s self-made, mostly from real estate. They live in the most affluent cities in our half of the state too.) 

It seems she had a bit of an accident a few weeks ago, involving compound fractures. Of course this means more meds. And we’re told she’s using alcohol to wash them down. She, in her drug induced fog, just knows they are not divorced so she’s parked herself in his house (much to his current girlfriend’s dismay). Of course, it’s his fault because he’s let her stay for weeks. I’m sure he feels sorry for the mother of his only son, but c’mon pal! 

We found all of this out last night when we stopped by. She was threatening to throw him out. He was convinced the cops would be there any minute. We’re worried about the kid! (Kid does great when she’s not in the picture. He’s an amazing dad.) They are both bound for jail since they’re in violation of the respective restraining orders. What a mess.  Nothing like walking in on something like that (well, we stayed in the driveway, but still) to bring my piddly gripes into proper perspective! 

And yes, what’s up with the crazies in my life? 

_________________________________________________________ 

Note: If I thought for one minute that the child was in any immediate danger,  the police would have been summoned immediately. There were several responsible adults at our friend’s home, and the boy knows them well. Sad as it is, this is a version of “normal” for this family.

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4 Responses to Perspective

  1. Sure sounds like Jerry Springer material to me…. Feel sorry for the poor kid though. Are there some stable grandparents in the picture for the kid to stay with?

    • Not that I’m aware of. Our friend is considerably older than us. The girlfriend, and the boy’s half-sister (23 ish) have been incredible with/for him. Routines, homework before dinner, all that. If you ask me, the ex-wife needs a long-term in-patient treatment program and he needs to gather up some testosterone and stand up to her. I pray the boy escapes all this with as little emotional trauma as possible.

  2. izziedarling says:

    Wow. Thank goodness the child is ok. Let me get this straight … they have mutual restraining orders and are living in the same house? Mom sounds like intervention material. Wow.

    • They haven’t been living together for a long time. When she broke whatever she did, she decided (since in her mind they were still married) that she’d go “home” so he could take care of her. Ugh!

      This is an extreme example of playing the prescription game – here’s a pill to fix you, etc. Add booze to wash it down and you’ve got REAL trouble. In the event she od’s, I certainly hope her son is not the one to find her. And without an intervention or treatment, that’s exactly where she’s headed.

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